gracchusdixit

Roger Ailes is one of the few executives in the history of network television to have become what passes, in our celebrity-crowded world, for a household name.  Ailes is the President —though “absolute monarch” might be the more fitting term—of Fox News Channel.  In a breathtakingly short period of time, the network Ailes all but created has transformed the television news business, becoming the most influential voice on the Republican, and perhaps the national, political stage.  Any conservative politician, pundit, or power broker who wants to tap into that influence, or avoid its wrath, has no choice but to come shuffling to Mr. Ailes, head bowed, hat in hand, humbly begging for favor.  Within the global media empire of Rupert Murdoch, there is of course only one king—Murdoch himself—but there are many princes.  Ailes towers over them all, primus inter pares.

In the last couple of months, however, Roger Ailes and his network have found themselves at the center of a storm, as if the sea god Poseidon were being buffeted by one of his own tempests.  Ailes and Fox News Channel have been assailed for a decision to limit tonight’s televised Republican primary debate to the top ten contenders, as defined by a series of national public opinion polls, consigning the rest to a so-called “candidates’ forum,” which will appear earlier in the day when nobody but the aged and the unemployed are likely to watch.  This decision has been lambasted not only by the unlucky candidates who will be sitting at the “kids’ table” tonight but also by countless others on both sides of the political divide.

The unlucky candidates who have no hope of making the cut have resorted to every sort of stunt—mass emails to Republican faithfuls, embarrassing attempts to produce “hip” videos on YouTube, shameful begging on national public affairs programs like “Meet the Press”—all in the hope of pressuring Mr. Ailes to change his mind.  Thus far, none of these antics has shown even the slightest sign of succeeding.

The pundits and media critics, as is their custom, have been more pompous and self-righteous in their condemnations, deploring what they deem to be a scandalous usurpation of democracy itself by, of all things, a cable television network.  What could be worse?

Most pathetic of all are Republican officials in the states of Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina, who have been hollering like stuffed pigs, fearing that their states may lose their completely undeserved preeminence in our unconscionably protracted electoral process—a preeminence they “earned” simply by scheduling their primaries earlier than anyone else.

All of this complaining and caterwauling—if you will forgive me for putting it so crudely—is complete and utter bullshit.

There may be many reasons to think ill of Fox News in general and Roger Ailes in particular.  But this isn’t one of them.  In this instance, the only reasonable thing to say is that Mr. Ailes and his network are saving the country from a great deal of needless bother.

To begin with, there are 17 declared Republican candidates.  Fewer than a handful have a sinner’s chance in hell of becoming the nominee of their party, let alone the next President of the United States.  The sooner the complete duds—who, needless to say, number rather more than a handful—are eliminated, the better it will be for all of us.

Even those who might otherwise agree with this proposition have nonetheless criticized Fox News for using national polls to winnow the field, for separating plausible fools from feckless idiots.  While there is no doubt that polling is an imperfect process, riddled with flaws and limitations, what alternative would the critics suggest?  A lottery?  A flip of the coin?  Names drawn randomly from a hat?  Perhaps a political version of “Lost” or “America’s Got Talent”?

The only plausible alternative, in truth, would be to put all 17 circus clowns on the stage and let each scramble for his or her 15 seconds of fame.  That wouldn’t be a debate.  It wouldn’t even be an entertaining circus.  It would be an unwatchable shambles.

The whining of officials in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina over the loss of their preeminence in our loony electoral system is more ludicrous yet.  Whatever their charms, these little, idiosyncratic states bear no resemblance whatsoever to the American electorate.

The Iowa caucuses are a crazy anachronism, dominated by hog-farming evangelicals.  The flinty independence of New Hampshire, though quaintly appealing in a Norman Rockwell sort of way, is a distracting throwback to a long-gone age.  And the righter-than-right-wing predilections of South Carolina reflect neither democracy nor common decency.  It was South Carolina, after all, that fired the first shots in the Civil War.  That alone should have disqualified the state from any future role in our national politics.

In upending all this nonsense, Roger Ailes and Fox News Channel have done the nation a great service.  They have exposed the foolishness of our political process.  They have revealed, at long last, how the Republican Party really works.  They have shown us that democracy has nothing at all to do with Republican politics.

All Hail to Roger Ailes!  He may not be the king of the Murdoch media empire.  He is without doubt or question the kingmaker of the Republican Party.